Go Your Own Way (Revised)
by bambu1101
Summary: Post 2X12: Go Your Own Way revised story. Some cannon, but mostly AUish. Rachel's journey to a grown up woman. Hummelberry and Puckleberry friendships.


**A/N: Hello again! As I posted the author's note in 'Go Your Own Way' in the last chapter, I uploaded its revised story here. This is NOT Finchel fic. So if you are Finchel fans, I recommend that you should stay away from this fic (Not that I'm going to get him some kind of a douche because he's really a good guy and friend of Rachel). Anyway, Rachel-Kurt and Rachel-Puck friendships stay the same. Blaine is the same age as Rachel, Kurt or Puck in this fic (this is not for Klainers' or any ships for that matter, either, by the way). I hope you'll enjoy the ride.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, its characters, or any music that I might use in the story. Any resemblance to real persons or organizations is purely coincidental. All mistakes are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Ever since his step brother officially broke up with her, she has gotten spaced out more often than not. She used to be always a driven—hell, an intense and obnoxious diva no matter when, no matter what happened to her.

Not that Kurt Hummel sees her on a daily basis, especially since he transferred to Dalton Academy, but exchanging phone calls in weekdays and catching up at Lima Bean in weekends are enough for him to know that.

"Rachel? Earth to Rachel?"

He snaps his fingers to draw her attention for the third time. She shoots up her head from her tea to see him. Yet, her eyes are still blank.

"Where have you been? I told you, thinking too much isn't healthy for you to do now."

She lets out a deep sigh before opening her mouth. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure," Kurt just nods.

"Why do you like me? I mean, you used to hate me. But what changed? It's okay how painful it would be. I'd much appreciate you being honest," she asks, looking into his eyes.

Kurt stares at her for a moment, wondering where this is coming from—except for the obvious, of course. But it's been almost three months since the last Christmas.

He clears his throat. "I didn't hate you, Rachel," he corrects first.

"I just," he takes a pause with a sigh. "You're very talented, Rachel, have great voice. But you used to act like you were better than anybody else. It might be true, yes. Aside from me and Mercedes, of course," he offers her a mischievous grin before backtracking.

"You being so outspoken pushed us, challenged us. It was annoying, to be honest. I know you care about the glee club, but it's too much, I suppose, to get out of Lima.

"I'm not saying that it's a bad thing that you try hard to get what you want, because everybody is not that different on that point. The thing is, you sometimes take wrong ways to get what you want when you're so desperate, and it gets on our nerves."

Rachel stays silent and just nods before letting out a shaky breath, trying her best not to get upset or cry but accept the fact that she's been acting like a spoiled brat.

"But I was, am," he amends, "not innocent. We all are not innocent."

Kurt inwardly admits that the glee kids in Mckinley have been treating her poorly more often than not, even Mr. Schue has too. He remembers how they unanimously agreed with Rachel being a captain, or the time he did her make-over for the wrong reason.

And Santana is insulting her, calling her names, still. The Latin Cheerio even played the role throwing a rock to get the relationship between Finn and Rachel cracked, for whatever reasons the Latina is holding, although Rachel was the first one to accept her at the Sectionals in their sophomore year while the others doubted her having some other ulterior motive, still being a Sue's spy.

"Thank you for your honesty, Kurt. I really appreciate it," Rachel gives him a tight smile. "But you haven't answer my other question yet," she says, taking a sip out of her tea, eyeing him over her mug cup.

"Right," Kurt purses his lips for a moment.

Why does he like her? What changed?

"I guess it started when I had to face life-threatening situation brought by Karofsky," Kurt shrugs. "You stood up for me. You got the others to fight for me. That was when I got to look you differently. You said you weren't nice to me before I transferred to Dalton because I was your only real competition. But you were not that bad before that," he winks at her playfully as he places his hand over hers.

Rachel finally lets out a genuine laugh. "Yeah, you weren't not that bad, either," she jokes back as she squeezes his hand. "Thank you, Kurt."

"But why did you ask? You used to look like you didn't care about or were not afraid of what the other people thought about you," Kurt knits his eyebrows.

It is true. The reason why the glee kids named her for the captain was because of that, not only because they didn't want to be bullied any further. And that's another reason they all thought (think) that she was (is) annoying.

Rachel drops her head. "I don't like myself," she murmurs, looking like ashamed of herself.

"What?" Kurt widens his eyes. "Why? Since when?"

"Have I told you, um," Rachel sighs again. "Santana told me that nobody ever told me anything because they all just pretended to like me? In front of the entire glee club in the green room at the Sectionals?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so," Kurt frowns. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," Rachel says, playing with the rim of her mug. "I appreciated her honesty, though. I really did, even though her honesty was painful," she lifts her head up to see him. "You know, I have always believed that there are two types of honesty; one is to get something or someone, myself included, pushed or better, and the other is to get something or other people tore down."

Kurt nods silently, encouraging her to go on with his eyes.

"She generally does the latter. My genetic, my nose, my outfits–"

Kurt shifts on his chair when she refers to her attire.

"Oh, I didn't mean to accuse you, Kurt," Rachel quickly adjusts. "You were being critical, right? I take it that you like to share your expertise. That's a huge different. Anyway," she clears her throat, "I strongly believe that it's unnecessary to point out others' physical differences just because they fail to meet your standard. But, her comment at that time is the former. So I accepted the fact that nobody likes me."

"Rachel, that's not tr–"

"No, no, it's okay," Rachel cuts him off. "No one," _him included_ , she adds inwardly, "argued even after the Sectionals. Well, I get it, because it's no worth arguing," she shrugs. "Then I started to think."

"About what?" Kurt puts a word in, anxious to know where this is going to.

"You're right. I used to not care about what people thought about me. I even told him the same thing when he was about to quit the glee club."

Kurt raises one of his eyebrows. Rachel still refuses the use of the real name, one and only Finn Hudson. Yet, he keeps quiet.

"It's not like I didn't want to be liked, you know," Rachel continues. "I want to be liked. Still I do, honestly," she admits.

"Of course. Who doesn't?" Kurt nods understandingly.

"When he tried to bring me back to the glee club," Rachel slightly winces by the bitterness of the memory on the tip of her tongue, "I told him that I loved Glee but I didn't see the point in wasting my energies on some place that I was not appreciated. I used to be like that. I didn't care whether the others liked me or not back then. I just wanted to be appreciated my talent."

"And we did. They still do, I think."

"Albeit that, they still hate my guts, obviously," Rachel lets out an empty laugh. "I thought that I was accepted, they became sort of my family. But it wasn't. Now I even have no energies to stand up for myself, to prove myself, like I used to."

"So, you're saying that you don't like yourself because you don't stand up for yourself anymore?" Kurt asks, anxious to get her to the point.

"Basically, yes," Rachel quietly responds. "But specifically, no."

Confused, Kurt's frown deepens. "I'm not quite following," he tells her honestly.

"I'm sorry. I'm still confused, too," Rachel gives him a smile with sad eyes. "Well," she sits straighter on her chair, "sorry about my depressing story. I almost forgot why I am here to begin with. So?" she asks expectantly. "What's going on with you and Blaine?"

"Well," Kurt grins, sitting straighter as well.

Blaine chooses the moment to walk into Lima Bean when Kurt is opening his mouth.

Kurt's smile gets wider, his eyes twinkling. He shoots up to his feet, waving a hand to the guy whom he has a crush on. "Blaine!" he gestures for him to join them.

"Hey, Kurt!" Blaine greets before turning his attention to the petite brunette. "Rachel, right?"

Rachel stands up from her chair, and offers a hand for him to shake. "Yes. Lovely to finally meet you in person, Blaine. I've heard so much about you."

"I hope only good things," Blaine smiles, taking her hand to shake, before perching himself on the vacant chair next to Kurt.

Rachel's depressing story all forgotten, they starts to discuss upcoming Regionals and colleges that they are going to apply for, what course to take after graduation.

* * *

Ever since he officially broke up with her at the tree lot, she has been getting more and more pathetic. She knows she is. She doesn't like it, at all. But when she sees what she doesn't want to see (them together), like on the way drive back home from Lima Bean, she can't help but still feel a pang of pain in her chest.

Rachel gets laid down on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

 _The thing is, you sometimes take wrong ways to get what you want when you're so desperate, and it gets on our nerves._

Kurt's sentiment starts resonating in her head. Then something hits her; something horrible that she's done to Quinn.

For one, she's tried to steal her man.

Rachel didn't think about what she was doing to the blonde Cheerio at that time. Or, maybe she did?

Long before Rachel actually had a talk with him, Quinn and her puppet Cheerios had been mocking her, like, posting harsh comments to her My Space, calling her names, drawing some pornographic pictures of her in the bathroom, despite she didn't anything to them.

Not that those things justify her action, though.

For another, she asked Quinn to seduce him while they were dating.

Given how happy Quinn seems with him right now (although she can't help but feel sorry for Sam), the blonde Cheerio must have been devastated when she was asked. That was really mean and cruel of her.

Rachel was insecure even before Glee. Her genetic, her large nose, her vertically-challenged figure (she still doesn't quite understand why she keeps being called Man Hands though). But at least she wasn't uncomfortable with herself this much. She didn't care the way she wore either.

How did she become uncomfortable with herself? She's gotten more and more insecure since junior year started.

How did she become this Rachel?

When Rachel buries his face in her pillow, letting out a deep sigh against it, soft knocks on the door interrupts her thoughts.

"Rachel? Can I come in?"

Leroy, one of her dads, calls out from behind the door.

"Sure," Rachel replies, sitting upright on the bed.

Her Dad pokes his head through the door, examining her face for a moment before speaking. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Rachel nods, shifting herself slightly aside for him to sit beside her.

"Hiram and I haven't had enough time for a real talk with you these days," he says, perching himself on the bed next to Rachel, "but we both know something's wrong with you–"

Rachel's sigh interrupts Leroy.

"That," Leroy looks at her pointedly, "that's what we've been worried about, Rachel."

Rachel stares at her dad questioningly.

"You breathe a sigh more often than not. Well, all the time actually, since–" Leroy takes a pause in hesitation.

"Since he broke up with me?" Rachel finished his sentence before blurting out. "He and Quinn got back together."

"Oh, Rachel," Leroy places his hands over his chest before stretching his arms, giving her a hug to comfort. "I'm sorry."

"I'm a failure," Rachel whispers against Leroy's shoulder. "What hurts the most is, unlike Quinn, I'm not worthy for him to fight." Maybe she was just his rebound girl—she thinks.

Leroy pulls himself away from his daughter, looking at her incredulously. "Oh, honey, don't say that. I don't like you to belittle yourself," he says, cupping her chin with a hand.

"But it's true," Rachel insists.

Allegedly, Quinn was the one to initiate the affair. She kissed him while she was still dating Sam, and she lied through her teeth to Sam. What's worse is, he was the one to persuade her to get back together and he seemed to make no attempt at hiding it to Sam.

He doesn't give a crap about the others to get what he wants because it's Quinn.

What is the difference? Why aren't her mistakes forgivable, but Quinn's? Or the others', for that matter? Is she really that horrible? _Yeah, I might be. That's why nobody likes her._

"Rachel?"

Her dad calling her name brought her back from her thoughts. "Maybe he never loved me, or even liked me," she mumbles.

"That's not true," Leroy rubs her arm up and down.

Rachel falls into silence, again.

Sure, he did say that he loved her, and she believed that. But come to think of it, he has never shown or acted how or why he loved her (excluding when she sang). He has never defended her. When he first dated Quinn, he defended his blonde girlfriend. She knows it, because she overheard in the hallway.

Him choosing a girl like her as his girlfriend has been some sort of anchorage to believe that he loved her. It was enough for her to believe it. But the truth is, she just wanted to believe that. That's exactly why she has always been carrying those insecurities, always having fear of him falling back to Quinn.

She had it coming anyway. Her action was just a trigger for him to realize who the one was for him.

She wants to blame everything on him. She really does. But at the same time, she has to accept the fact the she is the one to blame. What's worse is, she stopped standing up for herself. She lost her courage to confront him. Unlike the time she has once done that. The time she slapped him in the hallway. She was terrified of seeing the truth, although she would lose him either way.

Now, she doesn't know why he said that he loved her.

God, him breaking up with her was three months ago.

How pathetic she is.

"Rachel," Leroy speaks again, placing his hand over hers on her lap. "I know he's your first love. I know your heart is broken right now. But you're still young. He's not the last boy you'll ever love and you'll ever be loved. You'll find a boy who will make you fell worthy to fight no matter what. Don't ever belittle yourself, okay?"

Her dad's words really hit her, overlapping Mr. Schuester's.

 _You should know that there is some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don't like. Those are going to be the things he likes the most._

For the first time in a long time, Rachel cries. Really cries. She stretches her arms out to her dad, clinging to his neck tightly. "Thank you, Dad," after a long moment, she says with a sniff.

Leroy places his lips on top of her head before speak. "Now, how about tea with us at the downstairs?"

Rachel pulls herself from her dad, rubbing her eyes. "Sounds good," she nods before offering him a smile.

Before Leroy climbs out of her bed, he studies her eyes one last time. "There's a saying that one sigh will take away one happiness from you. So, no more sighs, be yourself, okay?" he says, offering his hand to help her get out of the bed.

* * *

The next morning, Rachel strides into McKinley, her nose up in the air, thanks to her dads pep talk.

No matter how hard it could be, she has to face the reality and move on. She misses her old self, perky, determined, and driven. Okay, minus obnoxious—as the others put it—parts. Bullied, suffering, struggling, heart breaking, every experience she's gone through is one step closer to be a star. She believes.

However, her high spirits were soon crushed down.

Sue Sylvester attempted to disrupt the glee club, again. Although the scheme was failed, Sue became the coach of Aural Intensity of all their rivals for Regionals.

As a co-captain of the glee club in McKinley, Rachel Berry has to do something. New Directions needs to do something. Something unique, something different, something special.

Original songs.

So, Rachel proudly announced her idea for Regionals in the choir room. Yet, once again, she was rejected.

"You mean a number where you don't get to sing the entire song."

"Ugh, check out dwarf Diane Warren."

Why did Mercedes need to glare at her? Oh, yeah, she is one of the Rachel Hate Club. But did singing _'Take Me or Leave Me'_ together mean nothing to her? And why does Santana keep tormenting her with insults? Her being miserable without anyone even in the glee club isn't enough? She also is so disappointed with Mr. Schue. Has he ever tried to admonish Santana not to throw her meaningless insults at the team mates?

She is so sick of it.

"Seriously, stop insulting me, Santana!" Rachel snaps, shooting up to her feet from her chair. "What is your problem? Not only Santana, but all of you. If you don't like my ideas, fine. You can hate me all you want. But insulting is unnecessary. Instead you complain whenever I open my mouth, why don't you become more productive? Sharing your own ideas to discuss or something?"

Everyone seems stunned by her outburst, which meets an icy silence.

Mr. Schue clears his throat to break the awkward situation. "Let's put it to a vote. Okay, Rachel?"

Rachel closes her eyes for a moment. She inhales deeply instead of sighing. _No more sighs, no more sighs._ She repeated inwardly, as if she casted a spell on herself. Then she opens her eyes, reluctantly nods, before sinking down on the chair.

Her idea, however, but as predicted, is dismissed.

By everyone.

 _Him_ included.

Rachel can't help but sigh in disappointment. She plumps down her shoulders before gathering her stuff from the floor to leave the choir room.

"Rachel, wait up."

When she is making her way toward her locker in the hallway, a familiar masculine voice comes from behind. She knows all too well whose voice it is. She pivots on her heel around to find Finn Hudson jogging toward her. She stares at him expectantly when he stares back at her for a moment. _What does he want?_

"Um," Finn scratches the back of his head, "you were right in there today, about not being good enough to win. We need to write our own songs," he blurts out.

"Why didn't you say when I needed you?" Rachel frowns. "I would've appreciated if you agreed with me in the choir room, not in private."

Finn frowns back. "It wouldn't have made a difference."

Rachel feels her bloods boiling. _Yes, it would!_ Rachel inwardly shouts. _At least to me! That would have meant a lot to me!_ However, instead of getting the angry out of her, she closes her eyes for a moment to compose herself. She takes a deep breath, and then slowly opens her eye.

"You're co-captain, too. Even if you were not, or even if you would be given a flat refusal, you should've uttered your own thoughts," Rachel shakes her head in disappointment. "You were supposed to be a leader, Finn. You should've shown your leadership in there," she takes a deep breath, realizing her voice unconsciously got raised. "But I understand why you didn't," she murmurs, averting her eyes from his.

She knows that Quinn didn't like it if he agreed with her in front of the entire glee kids, because the blonde girl is giving her a sharp glare from afar right now.

"I think someone is waiting for you," feeling defeated, Rachel says, shutting her locker close before walking away from him before he can say something back.

Still feeling upset, Rachel stomps into the corner of the hallway toward the auditorium when some muffled voice stops her when she is about to turn at the corner. Someone seems to talk on the phone.

Then Rachel's eyes widen when she hears the following words.

" _Yes, Ms. Sylvester. I eavesdropped on them whole time… Yes, yes, I'm sure of it. It's My Chemical Romance… Yes, ma'am, understood."_

Oh my God! Rachel cups her mouth, stepping backward quietly.

Sue is trying to sabotage New Directions? Again? She really never learns.

Rachel rushes toward Mr. Schuester's office. However, to her disappointment, his office already is empty.

Plumping down her shoulders, she turns around to leave.

That is the moment that something catches her eyes. On the bulletin board. Intrigued, she stares at the piece of paper for a moment. Maybe she would have another option, other than the glee club. She is going to consult Ms. Pillsbury tomorrow.

But before that, she should have the more important thing to take care of. She decides that she will be going to school the next morning earlier than usual.

* * *

"But don't tell them that I'm the source," Rachel pleads.

"Why?" Mr. Schuester frowns.

"Because," Rachel casts down her eyes, shifting on the chair across her teacher, "they would think that I made it up, you know, to get them to agree with my idea."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Rachel," Mr. Schue protests.

Rachel inwardly rolls her eyes. "Mr. Schue, I'm sure that would be happening. So, please, just don't tell them about it. Finn agreed with my idea yesterday, so, he's going to back you up. And if they would not like the idea," she takes a pause, pulling a stack of paper out of her bag. "This," she thrusts the tack in his direction on the desk, "is the song list that I think suits every each of their voices in case this plan is not going to work. Or the next time."

Mr. Schue starts to peruse the copies before looking up at her, raising her eyebrow. "You don't want to do a solo anymore?"

"Of course I do," Rachel gestures to the bottom of a copy. "That's why my song list is down there."

"No, I didn't mean–"

"Why so surprised?" offended, Rachel crosses her arm in front of her chest, although she know why he looks like that.

She knows as well that it can be a popularity contest if song-offs for a solo happen. But honestly? She doesn't care. If they still want to be like that, then let them be.

"Uh," Mr. Schue scratches his cheek, "okay, I won't tell them."

"And lastly," Rachel sits straighter, "I'm going to resign the co-captain as of today."

"W-what?" Mr. Schue widens his eyes. "Where is this coming from? Is that because they didn't agree with your idea?"

"No," Rachel responds firmly. "Well, you can say that it's sort of relevant," she says honestly. "Look, while I am a planner and good at broaching various ideas out of my brain, I'm not a leader," she shrugs. "Although I don't believe that I'm not a follower, either, if you know what I mean, the thing is, I believe that Finn can handle it alone because he has the makings of a very good leader, Mr. Schue. In fact, he already _is_ the leader of McKinley Titans and New Directions."

"But does he know? Did you tell him?"

"No," Rachel bites her bottom lip, looking down at her hands neatly placed on her lap.

"Don't you think it's better for you guys to talk about it first? You know, you tow are the good team," Mr. Schue ducks his head to try to look into her eyes, getting her attention. "I know you two broke up and it's hard for you, but–"

"That has nothing to do with this," Rachel cuts him off. "I, uh, might take some classes at OSU or another college close to Lima next year. I went to Ms. P–, I mean, Mrs. Howell's office before here and she told me that I could apply with my credits here. So, if accepted, I might be here only half a day. But," she holds her hand up in the air to shop her teacher from putting a word, "I'm not saying that I'm going to quit."

She isn't going to tell the Spanish teacher that she's not happy in the glee club anymore. She used to think that Glee was going to change the fact that everybody hated her. She remembers the conversation with the teacher still clearly.

 _You think glee club is going to change that?_

 _Being great at something is going to change it. Being part of something special makes you special, right?_

Now she knows that she was delusional. She was naïve.

Okay, she admits that _she_ has to be changed. There are some things that she has to work on about herself. But she is not going to take bullies and insults anymore. Not even in the glee club.

"Good," Mr. Schue lets out a relieved sigh. "But I still think that you'd better talk to Finn."

"I don't think so," Rachel declines. "Besides, Quinn would be glad to take the position."

Mr. Schue knits his eyebrows, looking at her quizzically.

"They got back together," Rachel say nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Oh," is all Mr. Schue can say.

"Well, that's all," Rachel gets out of the chair and stops in the doorway, turning her head around to see the Spanish teacher. "Don't tell them I'm the source," she repeats to make extra sure.

With that, Rachel walks out of Mr. Schue's office.

* * *

Ever since they broke up, she has been not like _her_ , like, at all. Sure, she has been talking too much, more than necessary, especially when he tried to get in her pants. Yep, she has been annoying as hell.

But honestly? When she is huffing and fuming and stomping her feet, he kind of gets turned on. Not that he admits out loud because he right now has Lauren, one of the strongest women in McKinley. The woman would give him a side headlock—or just laugh it off, possibly.

Anyway, Rachel Berry seems off. She seemed not so off the last time in the choir room she broached some shit—the shit Mr. Schur is now talking about.

And Noah Puckerman somehow ended up the sentry, standing in the doorway, to make sure there's no one who tries to eavesdrop the meeting of the glee club this time.

So many grumbles and groans from the glee kids toward Sue Sylvester and the original song idea later, Mr. Schuester finally manages to get everyone to agree to write their original songs.

"But be careful, guys," over his shoulder, Mr. Shue glances in his direction in the doorway.

Puck nods and gives him a thumb up so that Mr. Schue can continue.

"We should be acting normal around suspicious students, as if working on My Chemical Romance for the Regionals."

"Mr. Schue? Where are we supposed to practice then? We can't do here or the auditorium," Artie speaks up.

Mr. Schue rubs his chin to pounder. Artie was right. "Good point, Artie. I think you can work on original songs at my place. As for practice, I'll find some place by the time the showcase," he looks over at the kids before clearing his throat. "Alright, guys. So? Mercedes, Santana, and Rachel doe a solo? No boys?" he asks, yet, all boys shake their heads or keep silent. "Okay. Other than Finn and Quinn for a duet? Artie with Brittany? Mike and Tina? Puck and Lauren? Or Sam and Santana?"

"Not gonna happen. Ever," Lauren snorts, folding her arms across her chest. The other members don't move, only staring back at Mr. Schuester.

Puck smirks at his woman, giving her an approval with a nod—but wait a second. He starts thinking.

While Puck gets absorbed in his own thoughts, Mr. Schue continue. "Then Brittany, Tina, Artie, Mike, Sam, Puck and Lauren write a group number with me. All good?"

Puck eyes the girls clapping their hands excitedly (well, except for Rachel), and Mike and Artie sharing fist-bump.

"Songwriting is not an easy task," Mr. Schue turns around to grab the right amounts of rhyming dictionary from the top of piano before handing them out to the kids. "I've already asked Jazz Band to help you guys, especially with music composition. So if you need to help, you can ask them."

Once Rachel took a copy of the dictionary, she quietly slips from her chair to leave the room. In the other doorway, over her shoulder she glances at the other glee kids, who are gathering in one place, happily chatting about the plan after school.

Now she isn't just the outcast of the outcasts. She is invisible.

Puck's frown deepen.

* * *

"Rachel."

When she gets to her locker, Finn calls out from behind. Again. She can't help but sigh before turning around to face him. "Hello, Finn."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn asks, his voice taking on a hint of anger.

"It wouldn't have made a difference," Rachel uses the same answer as he did yesterday. God, since when does she become so sarcastic? Yet, she can't take her words back. Instead, she averts her eyes from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Now Finn doesn't bother to hide his anger. But once he realizes that she won't respond anything, he lets out a sigh. "You've been avoiding me."

"I've just given you space which you said you needed," Rachel says in a low voice. Why doesn't he get it? She doesn't want to be around him, especially him with Quinn.

"Because you cheated on me! With Puck!" Finn raises his voice, which they earn some looks from the students who happen to pass by them.

Rachel widens her eyes, feeling a pang of pain in her chest. But at the same time, she feels some anger bubbling up inside. How many times does she have to apologize for it? She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening her mouth.

"Finn," Rachel shakes her head. "You can't forgive me, then I'm going to deal with it. I know that I hurt you terribly. And I really am sorry. But would you not keep bringing it up whenever we have a talk, please? Besides," she lets out a sigh, "It doesn't matter to you anymore, does it? You have Quinn now."

Finn purses his lips together for a moment. After a good minute, he finally speaks again. "You haven't answered my question yet."

Even though she promised to herself that she was going to sigh again, she can't help it. He doesn't get that she is not happy in the glee club anymore. He doesn't get that she wants to be happy, doesn't want to pretend to be okay when the people, including Finn, who hate her are around her.

Rachel turns to her locker, but keeps speaking. "You'll be fine by yourself. If you need some help, you should ask Quinn. She's once been the captain of the Cheerios. I'm sure that she can show the prowess in the glee club too," she finishes as she shuts her locker close.

"But the glee club is all you have–"

Rachel shoots up her head to see him. How dare he?

"Believe or not, I have other things to do," Rachel cuts him off, glaring at him sharply. "Goodbye, Finn," Rachel says and then walks away from him before he can finish.

Once he is out of her eyeshot, Rachel comes to a halt to calm her down. She clutches her bag tightly in her chest, inhaling and exhaling repeatedly, until something, someone more precisely, bumps into her from behind.

"What the hell are you doing here?

It's Noah. She knows from the sound of the voice.

"Hello, Noah," Rachel turns around to face him before pushing him by the shoulder to make her way toward the exit.

"Problem with Hudson?"

Somehow, Puck follows her with a jog.

"Why should I have a problem with him?" Rachel snaps. "I'm not his girlfriend anymore," she says, keeping her walk.

"Get over it, Berry. 'S not worth moping around. He's an idiot," still following, Puck snorts.

"He is not," Rachel defends, giving him a look.

Puck rolls his eyes. "No worth to defend him, too, you know."

Ignoring him, Rachel pushes the door to be outside. But he is still following her. She groans as she stops her walk before turning to him. "What do you want?"

"If you want him to get jealous, I can be your writing partner for a duet," Puck offers.

"Noah," Rachel sighs. "I'm not going to do that again. I've learned lessons," she declares before resuming her walk toward the parking lot.

"You saying that you don't want to get him back?" Puck insists.

"No," Rachel firmly says. Out of the corner of her eyes, Puck raises the one of his eyebrows. "If I wanted to," she says as she presses her car auto key to unlock, "getting him jealous would end up a disaster, or getting more miserable."

When she opens the door of her car, Puck places his hand to it. "I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"Why are you apologizing? What for?" Rachel frowns.

"Because it was my fault, you know, you and Hudson broke up," he sounds sincere.

"It was not your fault," Rachel smiles at him remorsefully.

"It was," Puck sighs. "Kind of. I should've stopped _before_ it happened."

"Well, you did," Rachel points. "Even though it was after. But you stopped. Not that I could go any farther if you didn't stop, thought," she shudders.

"Oh, I'm sure that you could," Puck smirks. "Nobody resists Puckerone," he thrusts his hip forward.

"Ewww," Rachel scrunches her nose in disgust. "Must you be so vulgar?" she says before clearing her throat. "But thank you for your apology. I should've apologized first. So, I'm sorry, for ruining your friendship with him. And I'm sorry about Quinn, too."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Puck says matte-of-factly, making a face.

"Whatever," Rachel rolls her eyes. "Anyway, I should be going. Goodbye, Noah," she swats his hand from the car door before getting into the car.

"You sure about a duet?" Puck asks again. "You know, _'Need You Now'_ was the most kickass duet of all time in Glee! Our voices blend really well together."

"Goodbye, Noah," ignoring him, Rachel repeats before closing the door and driving off.

She is not ever going to get him jealous this time. She has to be changed at the same time getting her old self back. And she is going to be comfortable with herself, be happy again.

* * *

 **Review are always appreciated. :)**


End file.
